About three years ago I began compiling a list of improv team names I wish existed. It started with just a few in my Penway composition book, and has since grown to fill almost six full notebook pages. Now, you're probably thinking, "Max, there's no way you're going to publish all the names you've come up with on your blog." You're thinking that because you don't know me. Unedited, in no particular order, I give you the first half of this list, as it stands as of today. Please e-mail me or comment your favs.
Chicken Leg
Hitcha Back
Glued to My Seat
The Scoops
Glockenspiel
Noodle Kugel
Banana Muffin
Zelda Reptiles
Compost Me
Left-Over Sandwich
Sugar with Boobies
Purple Nurples
Yellow Tape
Asian Food
Cooked.
Mouthwash/Gurgle
Puddin' Pants
Crotch Roach
Shane/Rodney
Happier Jim
Nice Shoes!
Ticklebutt
The Birth of It
Turkey Town
Pluck!
Fix It!
Shoe-Man-Ship
No Way Josie!
Hold Your Horses
Relish
Hotdog Stuff
Jitters
Cooked Rice
It's a Blouse
Shampoo
You're Great.
Nice Head
Reach Around
Razzle Dazzle
Bunkbeds
I Was Tired
ProofaPurchase
Kabuse
The Grasshoppers
Bluefus
Parking Tickets
Shame on Plums
In a Pickle
Courtship
WhoopsieDaisy
The Pups
Pluck!
VHS FAT MAN!
Stickies
Craptastic
The Deal
Blame Game
Just Enough
Lake Effect
Christmas
New Music
The 90's
Little Boy
Refried
Toast
The Odds
The Righties
Oddball
Quacker Factory
The Playroom
Wrong Turn
House Band
Tums.
2nd Marriage
Carnival Snafoo
The Agency
Amigo Fest
Upper Limits
Special Order
Zack Attack
Catapult Part Three
Eye Candy
Tyler's Mom
Random Play
Duck Crossing
nightlight
Control Q
OK 47
Three Piece Suit
10,000 Cakes
Cankles
Elastic
Acquired Taste
Clubber Lang
Nincumpoop
TB Dating
The Big Boys
Part-Time Model
The Bank.
Bad Mailman.
To name a few. I'll be back with the other 90% of my list next week.
BT DUBS
1. Why is there, without exception, a crazy yelling man on every single public bus? Are they giving out free monthly passes to these assholes? Are their social workers encouraging them to excercise their nutso muscles on innocent public transit riders? Also, where are they going? I never see them get off the bus. Is every bus actually the local to crazy town? Are they simply paying a daily rent with a $2.25 security deposit to live on the bus? Why are they sitting next to me every time? Hey, crazy man: do you know where the most productive place to yell and scream aimlessly would be? The shower. There you'd be killing the two birds of cleanliness and social insignificance with your stone of sheer crazy.
2. I think it's hilarious that, all of a sudden, I'm supposed to give a shit about Egypt. If you watch CNN every day, you're used to what Americans have come to enjoy the most: news about Americans. Clearly, this is the best kind of news, as American as apple pie and way more relevant to our country than news about other countries. Yet all of a sudden last week Anderson Cooper is bursting our wonderful American bubble by showing live shots of Tahrir Square protestors holding some kind of revolution against some dude named Mubarek. Given what I see on CNN the other 364 days of the year, I'm inclined to believe these people are actually gathered in a large public square in Kentucky pretending to be Egyptians actually protesting against Obama, who like Mubarek is Muslim, because we hate Muslims and our president isn't one of us and the Egyptians hate the health care reform law. Get real, CNN. Now that it's all over, I'm going back to my previous assumption that daily life in Egypt involved writing hieroglyphics, mummifying Pharoahs, and ordering Jews to build pyramids. Ahhhhhh.
3. Do yourself a favor this week: listen to the latest Chromeo album and watch Frisky Dingo.
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