Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Is that her...? Oh, no.

If you can get farther than the chest-ish area while reviewing Máxima's outfit here, you're a better person than I.

Nothing's sadder than a royal wardrobe malfunction. See through tops: a "hmm" if there ever was one.

(You know, there's something to be said about wearing your pretty underwear all the time, just in case. Food for thought.)

Any other royal wardrobe malfunctions you can think of? Since we're already shaking our heads in shame, and all.

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Princess Claire and the Royal Ruff

I know these pictures from the Belgian royal family's Christmas concert are a little bit old by now, but we need to talk about this.

Focus your eyes amongst the gray on the grayest of them all, Princess Claire.

What's going on here?? This is a serious question. Is that fringy thing a necklace, or a part of the dress? Are my eyes really spying a neck ruff here? Somebody please explain this to me.

There hasn't been this much action around a royal neck since the days of yore. And I do mean yore:

We don't guillotine people anymore, Claire. There's no need to carry neck protection to these extents.

Photos: Zimbio/Mark Renders/Getty Images Europe

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Laurentien's Costumes

Took a little break for a bit there, did you miss me?  Don't answer that, my fragile ego can't take it.  I've got a lot to catch up on (including a suit...with shorts...) and a lot still going on outside the blog world, so bear with me.  In the mean time, let's catch up with one of those wacky Dutch princesses....

Laurentien has a way of truly committing to her fashion, doesn't she?  I mean, she just takes a look and runs it straight into an alternate universe.

Now, this dress isn't too bad.  If it were just a top, it'd be lovely.  But then you add in the stripes, and the swirled line of the shoes, and the flower in her hair, and suddenly I'm having a Dr. Seuss moment.

She has been promoting literacy, so perhaps keeping up the storybook theme was her aim with this gem of an outfit, sported the following day:

Charlotte's web?  It just looks like a big red spider bleeding all over her top to me.  (Actually those are words printed across her top.  Promoting literacy, literally.  Heh.)  I'm not sure where leggings and Red Baron scarves fit into the pantheon of children's literature, though.

And I'm REALLY not sure about these:

Because they do not have strippers in children's books. 

Photos: PPE/v.d. Werf

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Good grief, Sarah.

If this had been a royal wedding, we would have had an 11th entry to the Top 10 Worst Dressed Royal Wedding Guests:

Sarah Ferguson and daughters attend the wedding of Sarah's half sister Alice on August 28.

Hmm.  I know you're having money troubles, Sarah.  But sharing a wardrobe with your twenty-something daughters is not the way to save up.  You're fifty years old.  Good grief.

Photo: Daily Mail

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Princess Stephanie

Just Stephanie in general, really, makes me go Hmm.  But this month, well.....

At the Fight AIDS Gala, 16 July.

Would you like to recreate this look?  (Stop laughing.)  This handkerchief dress is available to you for just 19 euros, my friends.  It's on sale!  (I wonder why.)  Though I'm not sure how much it will cost you to make yourself this color.

At the Red Cross Ball, 30 July.

Now, if this look is more your style (Halloween is just around the corner, kids!), just take a trip to your local costume shop.  You'll want to focus your search in the female superhero section.

Sidebar: Poor Charlene.  She's making such an effort to look lovely, and it's all for naught.  Nobody's looking in her direction.

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Letizia, Revisited

OK, Letizia.  I see what you're doing here.  You figured, hey, they're making me go to three military graduation ceremonies in the space of a week, I might as well have some fun with it.

So he wears blue, you wear blue.

He wears khaki, you wear khaki.

He wears white, you wear white.

I've heard the saying that over time owners start to look like their dogs, but I did not know that the same applied to wives and their husbands.  Hmm.

And even though the outfits have gotten progressively better (I'm actually a big fan of the white dress), I still think making a little more effort to stand out, a little something special for the troops and their families, wouldn't have killed ya.  But maybe that's just because I wish someone in the Spanish royal family would embrace the hat  for the fabulous fashion statement that it can be.

Photos: Terra

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Letizia's Business Casual Dress Code

I will admit, Letizia is not my favorite flavor of royal in the first place, but this....

This is not so much a "hmm..." situation as a "WTF?!?" situation.  I'm not talking about the outfit itself: no, this is fine for, say, a day at your average khakis-acceptable workplace.  But that's not what she wore it for.  She wore it for a military graduation ceremony.  Where her husband, and all the cadets, were gussied up in their shiniest Class A uniforms.  Where she was going to stand up on a podium and review all of them.

Here are some other royals at some other military-type events:

 

And here's Letizia:

 

Which one of these is not like the other?   I know she isn't really a hat-sporting sort of royal, but come on.

What bothers me most is that this appears to be a trend for Leti.   She's grown increasingly casual since the early days of her marriage, but in the past few months it seems to have spiraled out of control.

I suppose you could excuse her overly-casual arrival outfit to Stockholm (left) ahead of Crown Princess Victoria's wedding, but I found it telling that her husband arrived right alongside her wearing a suit and tie.  And even if you can write that off as a casualty of travel fatigue, how do you explain what she wore to Easter mass (right)?  Especially since she sported a similarly casual ensemble to a cathedral event alongside her husband in June.  What's going on here?

I know a lot of people find her easy to relate to, and probably the dressed down thing goes along with that.  But there's just no magic here - is it wrong to expect that of a future Queen?


Photos: Getty Images/PPE/Terra/Tim Graham

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Elena and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Suit

Well, this happened:

 At the inaguration of the exhibit, "The Sacred Made Real"

 Hmm.  What's the deal?  Infanta Elena was once one of the most stylish royal ladies (certainly, the most stylish of the Spanish royals).  Christian Dior, Chanel, Oscar de la Renta and more could be found in her closet.  Many posit that this was the work of her ex-husband, Jaime de Marichalar, who enjoyed frequenting fashion shows and was once described by TIME magazine as "an eccentrically dressed dandy".  I suppose I'd always hoped that either some of that style had rubbed off on Elena or, more optimistically, that she'd always had it in her.  But it looks like I may have been sadly mistaken.

Since the divorce, she's gone Spanish influence turned Old West saloon at Crown Princess Victoria's pre-wedding dinner and concert, and then bullfighter extraordinaire at the wedding itself.  And now there's this, a suit belonging on the stage to be sure (and who knows where when combined with a crochet shirt and double necklace...).  Are the days of the tasteful and stylish Infanta gone for good?

Photos: IPAPRESS/Belga

Things That Make You Go Hmm....: Princess Eugenie's Working Wardrobe

I love that Eugenie's got herself a little summer job working for Christie's.  Seriously, given her mother's most recent....situation....and all the talk about how much it was costing to keep Bea and Eug in bodyguards on the taxpayer's dime, this was the best move she could have made.  I don't envy those two girls, man.  Awkward position on the fringes of royalty, where more often than not you just can't win.  I say good on ya, Eugenie, for making the best lemonade you can out of what you've been handed.

That said, this is what she's worn to work:

Hmmm.  Now, I've actually been to a Christie's auction in London.  (I'm kind of a V.I.P., guys.  Or, you know, I went as a student who was strictly cautioned not to move a muscle during the bidding lest my poor ass accidentally make an offer on an antique poodle painting or something, but whatever.)  Anyways, being an insider and all, I'm having difficulty seeing how a house dress with a frumpy cardigan or a too-tight white tee over a visible tank top (God help me, that's not her bra, is it?) is appropriate. 

I refuse to go there about her weight (she's drawn the short straw there, too, methinks) but surely she can do better than this.  Right?  Or is this just what all the cool kids are wearing to their summer internships, and I'm advancing into a miserly grandma state faster than I care to admit?